Siblings

One concern for me is how J’s autism could impact on his sisters. My eldest child (Lily) and my third child (Isabelle) are 32 months apart in age, with J between them. So obviously they are all very close in age. Come September, they will be Y3, Y2 and Y1 which is pretty intense without factoring in PDA.When J was diagnosed, we took the decision to not tell him or the others of his diagnosis as we weren’t sure any of them were old enough to understand what autism is. Lily, who is incredibly perceptive, and nosy 🤣 quickly picked up on it. She heard us talking and has a couple of children in her class who are autistic so she was familiar with the term.After I broke the news to Jacob that he would have to move schools, he asked me “what’s wrong with me Mummy?”. I took the decision then to find a social story video on YouTube and let J watch it. He watched it and said “that boy is like me” and I said “yes, there’s nothing wrong with you though”. He accepted this, asked a couple more minor questions and that was that. I’m unsure how much Isabelle understands about it but she’s only 5 so I haven’t made much of a deal about it.J struggles massively with crowds/groups of people, too much noise, sensory overload etc so attending parties or social gatherings often prove too much for him. His Dad is very much the same so me and the 2 older girls (we are all very sociable) often attend events. Doing something with all 7 of us is quite difficult and tends to work better if it involves at least one other adult.To their credit, the girls handle it very well. His twin sisters absolutely adore him. He’s a ready made Court Jester to them and their eyes light up when they see him. He probably gets the most belly laughs out of them of anyone!I asked Lily for her views and this is what she said:🔶️Things she enjoys🔸️Sometimes he lets me play with his lego🔸️We do quizzes together🔸️He asks me about school as I’m a year older and I like that🔶️Things she finds difficult🔸️Sometimes he doesn’t want me in his room🔸️He gets angry sometimesI suppose it’s all they’ve ever known so it’s just the way things are to them. I hope that as they all grow, they’ll be comfortable voicing if they are finding anything difficult to manage.#pathologicaldemandavoidance #pda #PDAAUTISM #autism #senparent #senparenting #improvingoutcomes